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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27517483">Outlet</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/aidenkingscholar/pseuds/aidenkingscholar'>aidenkingscholar</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Twisted-Wonderland (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cussing, Developing Friendships, Gender Dysphoria, Rage, The Author Regrets Nothing, Trans Character, Trans Male Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-08 04:55:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>907</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27517483</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/aidenkingscholar/pseuds/aidenkingscholar</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>«That's not how men sit, Epel. That's not how men talk. That's not how men eat, Epel. The way you walk is funny, Epel. Oh, I thought this was a boys' school. Guess not.» At all times, he kept these beliefs with him, so near they could take him down in any second. It was more than unbearable, yet he had to put up with it every day, from the moment he opened his eyes.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Outlet</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I hope we all agree that trans Epel is a blessing for this hell year<br/>Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Thinking of a range of expected noises from someone who is upset, Deuce didn't see coming that Epel would be screaming at the top of his lungs, as if the world would end if he didn't. It wasn't this graceful, soft voice he had heard several times during their essays. It was the sort of tone he used to challenge Vil, the rough speech he had been trying to hide from them. With careful steps, Deuce got closer to the scene, starting to discern how Epel vented his frustration:</p>
<p>"FUCKING SHIT!" he yelled, followed by a short nonsense scream. Deuce stepped back for a second, amazed at his behavior. "FUCK!" he let out once more, before bending over to take a breath. He looked exhausted, but equally pissed as he had been back in the ballroom.</p>
<p>Deuce couldn't help but wonder; was this the same Epel who was crying that day? The same guy who didn't seem capable of standing up for himself?</p>
<p>Oh, but he was. Not too long after he ceased shouting, an ugly cry took over him. Once again, he didn't look weak and vulnerable like his first impression of him. He just seemed incredibly tired, to the point where he couldn't get himself together anymore.</p>
<p>"Get a grip" Epel whispered to himself, his rusty voice hurting his sore throat. He wiped over his tears with a quick arm movement, and that's when he saw Deuce standing behind him, just observing the scene. Something like shame build up in the Pomefiore resident, though he decided to ignore it. "What are you doing here?"</p>
<p>"I fought with Ace..." Deuce calculated his words carefully, taking a moment to read the air. Epel's eyes were swollen from crying, his rage fit must have been longer than he knew. "I thought you would want company"</p>
<p>"Shuddup. Y'just wanna rescue me like I'm a delicate flower" the smaller freshman cleared his throat, and continued to dump his stress out. Not many things could comfort him in a moment like that, when his pride was hurt and his mind was clogged with all those nasty thoughts. It was well enough not being able to look at himself in the mirror on a daily basis, having to stand his own high pitched voice when singing, and knowing how other people perceived him when he inevitably got misgendered. But this? Ballet, and being ridiculed in front of his peers? The line that drew a limit was long gone. "I don't need your fucking help"</p>
<p>"I know" Deuce stated, with a firm spirit in his words. "I don't mean to-"</p>
<p>"I'm NOT a <strong>fucking</strong> girl" Epel clenched his fist with such strength that he clawed his nails into his palm. Deuce was scared for a second that he'd draw blood from it. </p>
<p>Epel couldn't feel the pain. He was used to it. Every time he opened his mouth, every step he took, it all reminded him of a single thing. One tyrant, delusional train of thought, ruling his entire life. «That's not how men sit, Epel. That's not how men talk. That's not how men <em>eat,</em> Epel. The way you walk is <em>funny,</em> Epel. Oh, I thought this was a boys' school. Guess not.» At all times, he kept these beliefs with him, so near they could take him down in any second. It was more than unbearable, yet he had to put up with it every day, from the moment he opened his eyes. All this VDC situation was only making the impossible feel like it had somehow gotten worse.</p>
<p>Every time he came up with a way to cope, it all went to hell. "I'll talk less from now on" he said at the time, tackling the issue with his voice. Perhaps if he never spoke, people would stop getting surprised and correcting themselves when they correctly referred to him. It almost seemed like he would achieve his goal, and calm his anxiety. And now he was casted as a main vocal, whose personality had to be bright and bubbly to deliver a nice love song. It felt like having the devil crawl on his skin.</p>
<p>"You aren't" Deuce's words snapped him out of his thoughts. "None of us think so, Epel. Vil-senpai's ways might not be ideal but... We're a team. We'll get through this" and so he offered him a warm smile, filled with nothing but friendship.</p>
<p>It didn't feel like a trap, nor a demeaning act to embarrass him later. He knew it was genuine, so he allowed himself to drop the shield that was craving to get physical with someone. Preferably, with his dorm leader. He pushed that thought back into a corner, and relaxed his hands. His breath became even once again.</p>
<p>"Let's do our best from now on" Deuce reached out his hand, as a sign of respect towards his fellow freshman. He might not be the most appropriate guy for the job, but he knew one thing: Epel shouldn't be alone through his hard times. One could always use a friend who would only listen.</p>
<p>Epel returned the handshake, accepting his offer with a slight nod. «Make sure to use enough strength», his mind reminded him. But he was caught in the moment, feeling safe enough to let those instincts go, even if only for a second. Despite the many worries he could have, it was always better to have someone he could trust.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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